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05 October 2009 @ 10:37 pm
RAD LIBS  
http://prillalar.com/drabbles/ HOURS OF FUN.



Resplendent Love

Sanzo finished packing. Ever since Hakkai, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Sanzo had been calipygous.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing banged him, all was smurf-colored. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going over the rainbow to become a banana-flavoured brick.

Just then, there was a belligerent knock at the door. Sanzo opened it and stood there sexily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his nosehair.

When Sanzo came to, Hakkai was holding his toenail and looking horny. "My love," Hakkai said breathily, "I'm sorry for the gigantic shock. I've been shipwrecked on a salty island for the last ten years, living like a virgin, touched for the very first time. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my armpit in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Sanzo could hardly believe his Hakkai had returned. "I will always love you, armpit or no armpit. Besides, you can cover it up with a Pontiac GTO."

They embraced stupidly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was Latvian.


A Pontiac GTO In Time

On a Latvian and horny morning, Sanzo sat over the rainbow. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His nosehair ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Hakkai to love someone with a salty toenail?

Breathily, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a calipygous resplendent melon baller, all on a summer's day. I wish my Hakkai would bang me, in his own belligerent way..."

"Do you?" Hakkai sat down beside Sanzo and put his hand on Sanzo's armpit. "I think that could be arranged."

Sanzo gasped hungrily. "But what about my salty toenail?"

"I like it," Hakkai said forcefully. "I think it's smurf-colored."

They came together and their kiss was like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

"I love you," Sanzo said stupidly.

"I love you too," Hakkai replied and banged him.

They bought a monkey, moved in together, and lived sexily ever after.


The Battle For The Melon Baller

Over the rainbow, Sanzo banged his melon baller. He had been busy with the melon baller for hours and now wanted nothing more than a belligerent cuddle or a resplendent massage from his lover Hakkai.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his smurf-colored Hakkai appeared at the door, grinning forcefully.

"Put down the melon baller," Hakkai said sexily. "Unless you want me to bang that melon baller on your toenail."

Sanzo put down the melon baller. He was horny. He had never seen Hakkai so calipygous before and it made him Latvian.

Hakkai picked up the melon baller, then withdrew a Pontiac GTO from his armpit. "Don't be so horny," Hakkai said with a calipygous grimace. "A monkey bit my nosehair this morning, and everything became gigantic. Now with this melon baller and this Pontiac GTO I can sexily rule the world!"

Sanzo clutched his salty nosehair stupidly. This was his lover, his smurf-colored Hakkai, now staring at him with a calipygous armpit.

"Fight it!" Sanzo shouted. "The monkey just wants the melon baller for his own smurf-colored devices! He doesn't love you, not the belligerent way I do!"

Sanzo could see Hakkai trembling stupidly. Sanzo reached out his toenail and touched Hakkai's armpit sexily. He was smurf-colored, so smurf-colored, but he knew only his salty love for Hakkai would break the monkey's spell.

Sure enough, Hakkai dropped the melon baller with a thunk. "Oh, Sanzo," he squealed. "I'm so belligerent, can you ever forgive me?"

But Sanzo had already moved over the rainbow. Like a virgin, touched for the very first time, he pressed his toenail into Hakkai's armpit. And as they fell together in a gigantic fit of love, the melon baller lay on the floor, Latvian and forgotten.



Horny Lang Syne

Sanzo sipped breathily at his drink and stood horny behind a Pontiac GTO. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel belligerent and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how smurf-colored his nosehair got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Sanzo knew very well why he was at the party: to see Hakkai.

Ah, Hakkai. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his Latvian armpit made Sanzo's heart beat like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

But tonight everyone was masked. Sanzo peered forcefully through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Hakkai. There, he thought, the man over by the melon baller, the salty one with the monkey mask. It had to be Hakkai. No one else could look so gigantic, even in a monkey mask.

He began to walk Sanzo's way and Sanzo started to panic. What if he actually talked to Sanzo?

Hakkai came right up to Sanzo and Sanzo thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Hakkai said sexily. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the brick," Sanzo said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so calipygous.

Just then, a banana-flavoured voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Sanzo's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Hakkai might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Hakkai swept Sanzo into his arms, bent him over the rainbow, and kissed Sanzo stupidly, slipping him the tongue and groping his toenail.

Sanzo could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out hungrily and pulled Hakkai's mask off his face. It was Hakkai! "I knew it was you," Sanzo said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Hakkai said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Sanzo watched him go. He would be right back, Sanzo was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.